I don’t let myself have fun very often.
I’m the responsible one. The rational one. The one who gets things done and can be counted on.
Those roles don’t leave much room for frivolity or fun. In fact, when pressed, I’ve often struggled to name something I do just for the joy of it.
Recently, I spoke with Catherine Price, author of The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again. I asked her, “How do you even define fun?” It felt odd to get academic about something kids seem to understand instinctively.
Catherine defines “true fun” as the intersection of three states:
- Playfulness – a lighthearted attitude
- Connection – shared experience with others or deep connection with oneself
- Flow – being so absorbed in an activity that you lose track of time
Armed with that definition, I realized that while I do plenty of things I enjoy—like cooking, painting, or walking—they don’t often lead to that trifecta of playfulness, connection, and flow.
That is, until a few weeks ago…
Finding Fun in the Waves
I was in Baja, Mexico, and our group was offered surf lessons. I’ve always loved the ocean, but I’d never surfed. My husband and kids had taken lessons before; I always stayed on the beach, watching.
This time, though, I surprised myself. I raised my hand. I was going surfing.
Standing on the beach with my board, nerves kicked in. I have to be good at this, I thought — even though I’d never done it before. (Classic overachiever logic.)
As I walked into the waves, I reminded myself: Beginner’s mindset.
All around me were other beginners—laughing, splashing, completely present. One woman was simply celebrating that she made it into the ocean after a lifetime of fear. Another, at seventy, gleefully rode her surfboard like a boogie board.
They weren’t trying to “win” at surfing. They were playing.
When my instructor, Martín, pushed my board and shouted, “¡Arriba!” I focused on the beach, stood up, and I was surfing!
Cheers erupted from my new surf buddies. I jumped off at the shore, grinning ear to ear. That moment was pure, unfiltered joy. This was true fun.
When Responsible Meets Playful
The next day, a few people planned to surf again before catching flights. My responsible self hesitated—Should I? Do I have time?—but I said yes.
And here’s what I discovered: Responsible and playful can coexist. We don’t have to choose between being grounded and being joyful.
We just have to give ourselves permission to be beginners again.
Your Turn
When was the last time you let yourself have fun—not “productive” fun, but real fun? The kind that leaves you smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.
Maybe it’s time to put down the to-do list, pick up a surfboard (or a paintbrush, or a karaoke mic), and remember what it feels like to play.
This, too, is The Power of the Pause—creating space not just for reflection, but for joy.